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Ready to Die
“Even if death were to fall upon you today like lightning, you must be ready to die without sadness and regret, without any residue of clinging for what is left behind. Remaining in the recognition of the absolute view, you should leave this life like an eagle soaring up into the blue sky.” Dilgo Khyentse
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Now What?
2023 is a year of important paralysis. Urges to express are defeated by a question: “why?”. Having no good answer, I decline. Between 2020 and 2023, my “why” was unraveling the yarn of my life. Looking to dissect myself, only to finally realize there was nobody there. From this position, what more is there to
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There Are Two Parts to Me
Once upon a time in early adulthood, I was driving down the road with two friends during summer. It was a brief reprieve from full-throttle partying… a transitory moment between day festivities and night festivities. We were riding in silence, windows down, enjoying the golden hour breeze. My friend who was riding shotgun suddenly announced
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The Fortune of a Lifetime
Below is an important personal journal entry. Several months later, One year later, Three years later,Four years later,… these feelings endure, accompanied by many new and complementary ones. It took some period of reflection and self-discovery to land here, and I am convinced this is accessible to anyone (though, everyone’s path is different). Note To
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Hey Lizard Brain, Some Guidelines for Life!
Notes to self. There Is Nothing to Find Out There! (This one is especially useful on Friday evenings – when catapulted by a week of stress and energy toward the temporary relief of the weekend – as the mind finds itself anxiously grasping for some unreachable comfort…) When you find yourself mindlessly scouring, mindlessly reaching…
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Happiness Mirages of Work and Love
Everything will be perfect, if only I find the right person, if only I find the right work. I just finished reading an essay: Is That All There Is? Why Burnout is a Broken Promise. In it, the author conveys how passion-for-work seems to invariably land at a final destination: the loss and mourning, not
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A Reflection on Three Months of Psychedelics
I am lucky to have led a great life – not a ton of hardships, some comforts that I worked hard for, a small group of amazing friends, some great trips around the world, a career that has given me satisfaction and autonomy. Nothing crazy, pretty average, but special to me of course – similar
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Through the Psilocybin Portal I Go
Whuuuuuuuuuuuuur. Hear that? It’s the gentle low-pitch hum of a dehumidifier fan, operating at 160F, drying 30 or so magic mushrooms I harvested from a plastic tub in my kitchen. The ambient noise of the fan plus birds singing in the early morning hours are insanely satisfying to write to. The subtle smell of drying…
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Self-Imposed Wage Slavery
Why Did I Chain Myself to Work, and Do I Let Myself Go? When I was 19, I drove full-throttle into the corporate world. The internet tsunami was overtaking humanity and I had a surfboard: skills to build tech that businesses were desperate for. At that young age, I knew more about the internet and