Sarah & Tom

The date is January 1, 2024. One year ago, two people, Sarah and Tom, stumbled upon a helpful resource while searching for help.


Sarah has since quit the job she didn’t like, left a relationship that was terrible, moved out of the city to be closer to nature, started playing piano (a hobby she’s wanted to try for 20 years), and is training to run the Boston Marathon. It’s been months since she thought about a cigarette and only has wine on special occasions – not every night and weekend like she used to. She routinely reaches out to friends and family just to see how they are doing – deeply curious about their lives and wellbeing. She inspires people with her loving, patient nature. She doesn’t make a ton of money, but makes plenty for the basics and is saving up to someday live on a lake with a kayak. She has aspirations in life, to be a great piano player, to publish some of her stories, to help other people – but at the same time feels deeply content and grateful about her life as it already is. She feels lucky.


Tom, frantically scrolled through the resource in about 15 seconds. His mind was in lizard mode – his eyes darting around trying to spot an easy fix for his psychological pain. After not seeing anything “obvious”, he tried two more google searches before a notification pulled him back to Instagram. He laughed at a meme and commented on another video about what a fool someone was for drunkenly falling over. Some random show was playing in the background on Netflix… he put his phone down, took a vape, and watched for about an hour. His mind was a pinball – barely able to stay with its deepest wishes, instead distracted by the relentless allure of his environment. He went to bed that night feeling sad. One year later, a day in his life is almost exactly the same, with new memes, and a new netflix show. His face looks older, he has more gray hair, and some pain in his lower back he can’t explain. He is one year closer to death.

Was a silver-bullet responsible for Sarah’s wellbeing? No. She simply stepped-back, slowed down, and started paying attention. Gradually… her priorities became clear.

Tom’s anxious, seeking mind blinded him to any possibility of relief – just as the poet Rumi lamented, 800 years ago.

(See Sarah’s path…).

Progress key
Progress deep
Save and Resume Later

Wall of comments:
(leave a comment anywhere, your questions and ideas may help other people too)

  1. Andrew – you made my day with this reply. Thank you so much. I am acutely aware of the following…

  2. “Welcome to my world, won’t you come on in” As I read this post I cannot help but make my…

  3. Vicky, your words are kind. Whatever fondness you feel here- for Lennon, or others, consider it’s because you have the…

  4. Thought provoking stuff, and expertly written. Just wish I was as articulate as the author and I will have to…

  5. Thanks very much!

  6. Sublime wisdom and much appreciated share thank you awakened soul 🙏

  7. Hey Chris – great to meet you. I hope you have found a few helpful things since posting the comment.…

  8. Hi, I’m not much of a comment(or) but I thought I’d give this a shot. I stumbled across your site…

  9. The generosity goes both ways… How lucky to have others consider this, and even further, share how they feel? Also…

  10. Thanks Jay for generously sharing. Not only your very gorgeous photo but also your experience. Love the idea of seeing/sharing…

  11. Tim, likewise, very grateful we connected. It’s an honor to hear from someone who has considered this territory so deeply…

Truths: Certain realities about life are disturbing and society tends to hide them. I believe brutal honestly is best – this helps remove noise and makes room for actual happiness. Sugarcoating only hurts us in the long run. Why not accept reality sooner? Desire is empty, We are fundamentally alone, There is no universal meaning, Everything is impermanent, and Reality is not what it seems.

Cautions: We bump into these truths blindly throughout life. The most common places we get frustrated and stuck are related to love and sexworkdistractionreality distortionself illusion, meaning, and victimhood.

Explore: A reliable way through this fog is is in exploring ourselves. Some helpful roads are mindfulnessnutritionfitnessspiritualityartistic expressiontravel, and optionally… microdosing.

3 responses to “Sarah & Tom”

  1. Dang, Im Tom. Lost and unmotivated. Dragging my body through each day like it’s a corpse. Tired with no drive to achieve my goals. In short, I became lazy and stagnant. This is a difficult rut to claw my way out of, but I absolutely must! My very life depends on me getting into work work work mode now!

    • David, great to hear from you – it seems to me like you are already fortunate, since you actually want to make a change for yourself. What do you think, after looking at some of the material, do you have a few things that seem like they might be helpful to find some peace/clarity? (sleep, diet, exercise, mindfulness, etc…). I have a few more comments I’ll share later on.

  2. I feel the same situation as Tom cuz I feel the exact same way but I’m not old as Tom is, I’m 20years old. Teenager. I hope I’ll do the same as Sarah . Quit every single thing that I’m uncomfortable with. God bless us all.

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