K I’m Done

100 something essays later…

My aim with this blog: to “know myself” and “help people suffer less”.

I feel good about the first part – the journey to “know myself” is now quite alive, and will carry on as long as I do.

As for “help people suffer less”, I never really knew what to expect. I’m not sure this is helpful to anyone (aside from a few kind comments), and I know I have nothing more fundamental to possibly add. Any further essaying would merely be repetition of the same insights.

If anyone stumbles upon any of this and wants to engage, feel free to leave a note.

Otherwise… this will simply be a story of someone who “woke up” … who deprogrammed themselves between 2020-2023, and then went on to live their second life.

I’ll come back if I have anything interesting to add, but the bar for that is quite high.

(A dribble of book summaries, photography, poems, and art, are likely to appear now and then.)


“After finding zero, you might evangelize it, reaffirm it, but then, what? … ?? You can say the same… over, and over, in tighter and tighter spirals of what feel like “precision” or “success”. You can amplify and modulate with varying intensity. But ultimately, this is no summit. A choice is being made, knowingly or not”.

Art Is God

5 responses to “K I’m Done”

  1. I thought of you today, your story about your friend with two parts, I even wrote about it in my journal. I trawled my Reddit feed to find your response to my comment, and it turns out I was the only person to comment on or even upvote. How interesting that you chose to wrap up your blog on this same day. I think of it often and trust that one day my son (coming in September) can recognize the two parts that make him whole.

  2. It would be remiss of me to not comment on this “final” post. I will be forever grateful for your insight and giving me the metaphorical keys to unlock the doors in my mind that I didn’t even know existed before stumbling across this blog. ***ANYBODY*** who by chance happens to read this comment who is struggling and suffering, this blog has the tools required to help you through the fog to see the beauty on the other side. THANK YOU!!

    • Last weekend I attended an outdoor jazz concert. Jazz to me is the ultimate genre – musicians train for decades to be able to sit there and effortlessly pluck novel music out of the ether… like magicians.

      Unfortunately it was raining – only a handful of people were willing to sit under ponchos or umbrellas to watch. But I loved being there with those fellow die-hards – they appreciated the art as I did.

      I am no jazz musician of words. But similarly here, I am honored to have had a few companions. The best anyone can possibly discover within this pile of essays, is a thread to help them break free – whatever that means to them. I sincerely believe this potential is on the menu (and worthwhile) for anyone.

      The gratitude for you is equally felt. Thanks Andrew.

      I’m sure some further expression is coming… but my promise (to self) is not to regurgitate what’s already here, as that would dilute it and feel needlessly circular.

      A necessary consequence of “freedom” is having to integrate in a world that feels even more alien than it did to begin with. Peculiar and beautiful all at once. That’s likely the part I’ll be reflecting on…

      Feel free to reach out any time – happy to stay connected.

  3. I would also be incredibly sad if I didn’t get to share with you, on your final post, just how incredibly reading through this blog has been! You mention that your aim from this blog has been to “know myself” and “help people suffer less”. While I can’t comment on whether you “know yourself” more or less, I can affirm with CERTAINTY that you have helped people suffer less. I know this because you’ve done it to me, Jay. You’ve been able to provide tools to help me identify where I currently can suffer less in my life. In addition, this blog has been an oasis of excitement, growth, and opportunity to challenge my own ways.

    As another comment mentioned, THANK YOU for helping me “clear the fog to see the beauty on the other side.”


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