Four years ago on New Years Day 2019, I wrote the following distress-email to a career-oriented therapist. As I re-read and reflect, the concerns feel foreign and distant.

Dear Doctor

January 1, 2019

Hi Dr Smith,

After about 18 years of professional life, I have ascended into one of the best possible positions, and now I feel stuck. I have this nagging feeling I am ready for a new challenge. I want to make an impact of the world while enjoying more complete control. I am looking for help considering new paths through life. I am extremely hard working and motivated. I thought it might be worthwhile to do a holistic assessment of my life, non-career related, and then bring the focus back to career at some point. Let me know if this sounds aligned with your specialty.

What Happened?

Initially, I did wind up meeting with them a few times. But ultimately I realized life’s biggest questions – what I truly want to do with my life – were left for me to explore on my own. In short:

2020 – the year of reflection and meditation
2021 – the year of deepening insight, culminating here
2022 – putting this plan in motion

If I can do this – explore myself and understand my deepest desires and behaviors – I am convinced anyone can. Further, I am convinced this is the most worthwhile endeavor of a lifetime – for any of us.

Life has never felt better. I almost feel guilty, like I’ve discovered a little pot of gold and desperately wish to help other people find their own. But I recognize it doesn’t work like that. People need to become interested in certain questions on their own… and pull the string. All I can really do is offer ideas. Maybe they stick – maybe they don’t.

Anyways…

And – oh yea – about the “new challenge” I was looking for? The challenge is to not need a challenge. Which I am increasingly happy to embrace.

Why can’t life just be enjoyed exactly as it is? Seems that it can.