Good news, bad news.
Bad news, everything is NOT OK.
Good news, everything is OK, anyhow.
On a personal level – everything is OK. Seriously. I tasted this a couple years ago – unexpectedly – and can’t un-taste it. If you are ever so lucky to feel this in your bones, and lose it, don’t worry, you’ll find it again and again. The sun exists no matter how many clouds in the sky.
It’s not like this magically un-fucks the world. But, it drastically changes your relationship with it, and what you “need” from it, and hopefully, frees you to exist in peace.
To save you time: If your dream is to “kill it” – to win all sorts of wealth, fame, admiration, status, sex, stuff, yadda… I can’t help. In fact, this is exactly opposite of what I’m offering. Aspirations and joy are great – but infatuation with shallow goals is a recipe for misery. Sorry.
Quick Test: Are you Sarah, or Tom?
The date is January 1, 2024. One year ago, two people, Sarah and Tom, stumbled upon this while searching for help.
Sarah
Sarah has since quit the job she didn’t like, left a relationship that was terrible, moved out of the city to be closer to nature, started playing piano (a hobby she’s wanted to try for 20 years), and is training to run the Boston Marathon.
Tom
Tom, frantically scrolled through the resource in about 15 seconds. His mind was in lizard mode – his eyes darting around trying to spot an easy fix for his psychological pain.
Wall of comments:
(leave a comment anywhere, your questions and ideas may help other people too)
Great writing style!
Absolutely. Please let me know if I can help further.
Hey, thank you man. This helped a little. It’s absolutely terrifying to feel like this (it’s been over 6months of…
Hi there
Hi
Andrew – you made my day with this reply. Thank you so much. I am acutely aware of the following…
“Welcome to my world, won’t you come on in” As I read this post I cannot help but make my…
Vicky, your words are kind. Whatever fondness you feel here- for Lennon, or others, consider it’s because you have the…
Thought provoking stuff, and expertly written. Just wish I was as articulate as the author and I will have to…
Thanks very much!
Sublime wisdom and much appreciated share thank you awakened soul 🙏
Hey Chris – great to meet you. I hope you have found a few helpful things since posting the comment.…
Hi, I’m not much of a comment(or) but I thought I’d give this a shot. I stumbled across your site…
Sublime wisdom much appreciated share thank you warmly 🙏
Happy to find you here Carolyn. What comes to mind is a favorite quote from Stephan Bodian… (who, is quoting…
Thank you for offering this. Sam does bring Science along for his ride and I applaud him for this contribution.…
“I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I’ve been knocking from the inside!“
– Rumi
What Is This?
What did Rumi mean? He was blinding himself to his own relief, and after realizing it, warned that this can happen to us too.
I created this space as a non-profit-hobby to share helpful ideas. I have nothing to sell or ask. I simply want to offer a perspective: Everything in this moment is seriously OK 🙂 Since you’re here and reading this – I know you may not feel that way (yet). Maybe you are sad, or lonely, or looking for your path. But please, don’t worry! Do not let your expectations about life consume you! Expectations are the cause of all suffering – whether they are yours, or ones someone else has for you.
How can you find clarity? Wander below and see what resonates. Consider a note from someone who came here just a few weeks ago, and found some comfort. Check out all the doorways below – or feel free to reach out.
Getting Lost = An Important Milestone
… Because it sets the stage to find what you’ve been looking for – the end of your search.
Years ago I called the author of a great book, looking for guidance. Rather than offer advice, the author, who had helped thousands of people, simply said: “you ALREADY KNOW the answer, you just want to hear someone agree. You don’t need me.” Same to you. Your answers are already in your pocket.
There are many ideas below that will rock your mind. The most important one is how to *listen to yourself*.
Everyone gets stuck.
What’s the way out? Pick one:
1) Wander 100 ideas below
2) Jump to a helpful resource
Truths: Certain realities about life are disturbing and society tends to hide them. I believe brutal honestly is best – this helps remove noise and makes room for actual happiness. Sugarcoating only hurts us in the long run. Why not accept reality sooner? Desire is empty, We are fundamentally alone, There is no universal meaning, Everything is impermanent, and Reality is not what it seems.
Cautions: We bump into these truths blindly throughout life. The most common places we get frustrated and stuck are related to love and sex, work, distraction, reality distortion, self illusion, meaning, and victimhood.
Explore: A reliable way through this fog is is in exploring ourselves. Some helpful roads are mindfulness, nutrition, fitness, spirituality, artistic expression, travel, and optionally… microdosing.
100 Ideas
Curious what true comfort feels like?
One human’s story told in under 3 minutes
A kind note from a visitor
Slow down, take a backseat, and just observe.
Two lost souls were challenged to find themselves
One explored, one did not. A one-minute story.
Have you fallen for the greatest con of all time?
Sorry, we all do
Would you?
If someone gave you a button, which provided enduring assurance that you’re totally OK, and really don’t need to worry about improving anything, not now, not ever, would you press it?
Where do people typically get stuck?
Cautions about mindlessness
Cautions about romance/sex
Cautions about work
Cautions about self-illusion
Cautions about victimhood
Do you control your mind, or does it control you?
Ask the Horse (and other poems that teach)
Forget appearance, how you eat = how you *feel*
The relationship between diet and feelings
There is no single fix for all your problems
This helps find ALL places you might suffer
Who are you meant to be?
You already know
Feeling like a victim?
Beware, Self Pity Monsters Aren’t Always Real
Feeling lonely in love?
Plato talked about this over 2000 years ago!
Read about someone who would love to trade places with you
Explore…
Human Potential
Fitness
Nutrition
Mindfulness
Does your behavior surprise even you, sometimes?
Read about why the feeling of “self” is just an illusion
Sexually frustrated?
An unplanned experiment to deprioritize sex…
Meditation and psychedelics affect the same region of the brain.
Watch Dr. Roland Griffiths, Johns Hopkins University, explain
What is sustainable happiness?
Listen to Dr. Laurie Santos, Yale
Unbelievable beauty is all around us. Why is it so hard to see?
Awestruck by the magic of his surroundings, Aldous Huxley shares a theory
A quick note - this is intended for people who are looking for some inspiration and ideas. If you are feeling extremely depressed or having suicidal thoughts, I am very very sorry you are in that place. The ideas here will help, but I seriously suggest you go here or call 1-800-273-8255 to speak with a therapist who can help right now.Uh, Hello? 🙂
Made it all this way, and seriously haven’t opened any doors yet?
In the end, no matter which thread you pull, they all lead to the same life-shattering epiphany. You might find the thread in this blog, you might find it at a monastery in Tibet, you might find it at burning man, or you might find it in your oatmeal tomorrow morning 🙂.
I honestly think the best door you can open here is this one… the same curiosity that brought you here today will find a wild adventure down that road.
13 responses to “Everything Is OK! :)”
I have the bipolar disorder I have no friends I’m scared to actually let someone into my life due to I’ve been done wrong way to many times I feel lonely and sad yo say this I have felt suicide thoughts like you said what if
Hi my friend. I am very very sorry you have thoughts of suicide. I feel you with all my heart. Please call 1-800-273-8255 – someone will definitely be able to help you right away.
Hey I’m 16 and bipolar with anger issues and depression and I’m genuinely unhappy and I don’t know why im not I don’t know if I’m lonley, dont feel loved or jus unsatisfied I don’t know what I’m gonna do with the rest of my life but I’m gonna figure it out I hope for the best for anyone that looks at this comment thank you god bless
Hey there. I hear you, I feel you. I am at least one person on the planet who is paying attention to what you say right now – and appreciates that loneliness can feel like the worst thing. So for starters, I hope that helps you feel less alone. Please do check out all of the resources on this page, and if you don’t find anything that helps, contact me and I’ll help you look for more. There is no magic overnight fix for anyone’s problems, but if you can try carefully to notice your own thoughts, over time, it can make an unbelievable difference in your life. Hope to hear soon my friend.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ve been feeling the same way. God bless you too. I’m Christian too and feel that way alot. It’s no good. Especially for relationships. turn to God for help and He will help you. 🙂 also talking to other people who are close to you may help.
Hi I’m also bi polar… feeling hopeless.. afraid of my future. thinking of moving out of my hometown sometime next year. I need to follow my heart but stepping outside my comfort zone is so scary. I just want to live a simple life. I need to find peace.
Hi Carmen. Thanks for taking the time to read this and say hi.
Living a simple life is an absolutely beautiful goal. And from personal experience I know it is possible! Living “in the moment”, means trying not to worry too much about the future, or the past. If you can up each day and find simple joy in being alive, that is it! That is the greatest treasure (to me). But hey, I know it can be hard to feel this. Please explore all the material here, and if you still are looking for pointers, please reach out, I would be happy to listen and give you ideas. Good luck Carmen, I believe you will find your simple life. In some sense, you might already be living it, right NOW 🙂 It’s a matter of noticing.
All I can say is thank you. Like most people, I have just had enough of everyday life and I reached a breaking point…again. I just googled “I feel stuck” and came across this blog. The words “everything is ok” made me feel instantly better. It’s what I needed. And then the whole blog itself because I kept reading and became calmer. Thank you for creating this. I don’t know who you are but thank you so much.
Really moved me to read this … since that is my best hope, that these words can find people at exactly the time they need it. Really wishing you the best – I know it is possible to feel stuck, but then discover great joy in the simplicity of life. Please, feel free to reach out any time.
Hello!
I want to share my story. I am 19 years old girl who studies in med school.Every day I push myself not to give up but I always end up with crying all night. I do not know my interests, have no idea if medicine is right for me but at the same time I do not know what other profession is suitable for me. I think i have lost my life and just wish to dissapear. Can you give me any advice? what should i do to know what i want in life?
Nice to meet you Mariam. Med school at 19, huh? There is probably so much to your story I don’t know or understand. But I will say, you have SO MUCH TIME to step back and find peace before you climb mountains. Medicine is a beautiful aspiration, but at the same time, nobody should consume themselves in a journey unless they really understand their reasons. Yes of course, some journeys in life are insanely hard and worth pursuing, but underneath that, we need some sense of peace and wellbeing. I would seriously try meditation and journaling, to sit and understand with your feelings, emotions, and anxieties. Some periods of silence (even if only 20 minutes per day) are hugely beneficial. Make some space for yourself to do this. This reflective time is precious, and will help you feel good about your journey when you are back climbing the mountain again (either medicine, or something else). Please feel free to reach out to discuss more here or on the side.
Hey, thank you man. This helped a little. It’s absolutely terrifying to feel like this (it’s been over 6months of feeling like this)
Absolutely. Please let me know if I can help further.