Look at this poor fly. Misled by its own instincts, now trapped.
We can’t help ourselves. Our instincts feel so right – yet – we find ourselves stuck despite them. We don’t recognize traps until we’ve been caught and frustrated for a very long time. Eventually, someone, or something, helps us see an exit. This 800 year old quote from Rumi beautifully captures what this feels like:
“I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I’ve been knocking from the inside!“
– Rumi
Do not let these things suffocate you.
Love & Sex
Can romantic love save anyone? Make us feel whole? Is this what you’ve been waiting for your entire life – and it’s driving you crazy that you don’t have it? Further, the allure and pleasure of sex seems undeniable – but have you ever considered a long-term cost?
- Plato’s 2000-Year-Old Warning About Soulmates
- Married and Longing for Solitude
- Mom, Dad, Why Didn’t You Tell the Truth About Having Kids??
- The JOY of Not Needing Anyone
- To Breed or Not to Breed?
- Two Years of Deprioritizing Sex
- School, Marriage, Work, Kids, Death – A Lack of Imagination
- More…
Work
Why do you work? Money, most obviously. What about challenge, community, experience, accomplishment, growth, validation. Is it right to depend upon work for all of these things? Perhaps “work” isn’t always the best answer. Perhaps work can actually get in the way. Work is obviously important, but it isn’t everything.
- Life Beyond Work – Keynes’s Vision of a 15-hour Work Week
- Kellogg’s Short Workweek. What Happened?
- Work: A History of How We Spend Our Time
- Self-Imposed Wage Slavery
- More…
Mindlessness
Is it true, in the words of one great author, that “everybody worships”? The only choice is what we worship. We can worship binging netflix and scrolling memes as much as we might worship studying to be a doctor, learning to play the piano, or simply sitting in quiet and reflecting upon the nature of our existence.
- Infinite Jest: Escapism May Cause Injury or Death
- The Annihilation of Stillness, Focus, Reflection
- Hey Smartphone, Let Me FEEL Pain!
- More…
Self-Illusion
Who are you? Seems like a stupid question. Then you see it’s a rabbit hole that can permanently alter how you see the world. Just who is it, that is coming up with all the thoughts an emotions you feel, all day, every day? Are you willing them into existence, or simply along for the ride, watching the show?
- The Self Illusion
- Reality Is Not ‘True’
- No Self?
- The Clown at the Ballet: Free Will
- Has This Con Fooled You, Too?
- Conscious
- More…
Reality Distortion
Poor us. Sincerely. Living in an era of great information abundance, yet so much of it is warped and distorted in ways that are extremely hard to recognize. This is increasing anxiety about life and altering our attitudes towards other people in the world. Understanding this can make a big difference.
- Facts and Reality
- The World Is Not a Dumpster Fire
- Jaron Lanier’s Antidote to Social Media Mind Control
- The Unfortunate Internet
- More…
Victimhood
It’s easy to blame the world for our struggles. Don’t take the bait – this is known the pity potty – and it won’t get us anywhere. Even if you are wronged, there is enormous power in knowing your resilience, and fully living the expression – water off a duck’s back.
- Beware, Self Pity Monsters Aren’t Real
- It’s Not The Sidewalk’s Fault
- Forgive, Forgive, Forgive
- More…
Tribalism
“Those people”. If we simply fixed (or got rid of) those people – life would be so much better. It’s simply a matter of coercing them, ridiculing them, being angry at them – fixing those people once and for all. Wait a minute. What if we are all the same?
3 responses to “Human Flytraps”
I’m surely Tom, Lost,unmotivated, never experienced loving,no family,no friends. Dragging my body through each day like it’s a corpse. Tired with no drive, fallen behind on bills and my life lacks purpose. My dad’s health is also critical and I think I can’t keep on living cos what’s the point to life? I’ve reteated myself to staying indoors more and I feel rage and anger almost everyday. I just hate myself because it feels nothing is working for me.
Elena, I hear you, I am here for you. Everything is alright I promise. I know it can suck to hear that without feeling it, but it is so true. Step back. Try your best to just close your eyes and step back, and let go of all the stuff swirling around in your head now. I am certain the realities of your father, and bills, and pressure, are very real. But just for 10 minutes, step back and feel it is ok. I will be back later today with a revised response but if you have not yet, please check out the “mindfulness” link. It is basically like my panic button. I will be back soon.
Thank you Jay for reaching out to me. Not sure how I feel right now but it’s reassuring knowing someone out there listens and offer soothing words. Thank you.